Queer/Race

We Deserve a Family too!!!!!

Posted in Uncategorized by kirstan27 on May 8, 2010

I decided to write my final paper on gay parenting because it’s an issue that’s not discussed as much as other issues. We talked about gay marriage in class and even when a partner in a heterosexual marriage becomes gay but never really touched upon gay parenting.  Causing me to look further into investigating and researching about gay parenting. Gay Parenting is definitely way more common than it used to be. However, gay people still struggle to live their lives they way they choose in a heteronormative society. The issue is that heterosexuals feel that its wrong for gay people to raise children and fear that gay people aren’t fit parents. Although research does not indicate much difference between homosexual and heterosexual in parenting styles and concerns, gay and lesbian families are always facing the question of viability.

Those who are against same-sex couples adoptions and second adoptions try to frame the debate as protecting children or say it’s because of family values. Those who against same-sex couple adoptions or having a baby claim that allowing same-sex couples to adopt allows them to “experiment on children”. However if you look down at the pictures below these couples and their children look happy. Most studies that have been conducted on children raised by gay parents have found that they turn out no better or worse than children from traditional families according to several factors including friendships, self-esteem, behavior, academic achievements, and family relationships.

Look at these couples in these pictures they are happy and their families are beautiful. This the perfect family portrait two people who love each other and the love they have shines through to their child. Why do you heterosexuals think there’s something wrong with this picture? Get it over because homosexuals are here to stay and are not going to change their life to make you feel  better about yourself! According to the 2000 census, there were 163,879 households with children being raised by same-sex couples. That number is said to have climbed from between 1 and 9 million children.

So please keep your homophobia to yourself! Let gay people experience life just like everyone else because they deserve a family and the joy that comes with it too!

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10 Responses

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  1. jshu10 said, on May 8, 2010 at 8:35 am

    I agree with the passionate plea and emotional rouse you are trying to make by showing us these images, which appear to legitimize and authorize queer parenthood by displacing certain hetero-angsts about queer-exposure. My best friend in high school, was born in India, adopted by a lesbian couple when she was 6 weeks old and brought to the United States. She grew up here in the surburbs of DC, went to college and now work in film editing. She experimented with her own sexuality, having dated both men and women. For a time, she doubted her own desires because of the influence her parents may or may not have had on her, and because of the stereotype that gay parents are secretly out to “turn” their children. She didn’t tell her two moms that she slept with women, and dated one for over a year; because of her internalized anxieties and fears, and in many ways, shame. The truth is that there are “2nd-gen” gays and lesbians; but statistically speaking: why wouldn’t there be? If we can only legitimize gay parenting by trying to prove that their children will maintain hetero-norms; we in effect repeat the homophobia we are trying to dispell.

  2. austone said, on May 8, 2010 at 6:15 pm

    Your blog post makes a good point; same-sex couples are no less “normal” than opposite-sex couples. I too have noticed and listened to the opposition’s viewpoints and they almost always express “traditional family values.” Personally, I used to greatly dislike people who believe LGBT people should not be able to adopt, but I feel more sad for them now than I do anger. With the exception of the gay couple on “Modern Family,” there are still VERY little representations of same-sex parenting. I’m sure other forms exist but it would really strain my brain attempting to think of any. Mike Huckabee (who recently made anti-gay parenting remarks) talked to Rosie O’Donnell about same-sex parenting; he continued to make the argument that it is not “ideal” and children need to experience representations of both parents’ genders. Rosie argued that she loves her children just as much as any heterosexual couple and Huckabee acknowledged this and agreed while still defending his anti-gay adoption stance. I believe there needs to be more representations of same-sex parenting because as of now, there exists far too few.

  3. kaykay said, on May 8, 2010 at 6:36 pm

    As we have discussed in class about marriage and today’s divorce rate, it angers me that people think same-sex couples are not “qualified” to raise a child. I like the statement we brought up in class about gay couples actually loving each other more than heterosexual couples. I’m not saying that heterosexual couples aren’t capable of raising a happy child, because I am the product of one, but yes, same-sex couples can do it too!

    Today’s media is doing a very good job portraying same-sex couples attempting to raise a child. Like stated by “austone”, Modern Family portrays Cam and Mitch trying to raise Lily. Although they do have a bit of trouble raising her, they are still doing it and love her and each other so much. Also, Rachel from Glee has two fathers, apparently having mixed their sperm and she doesn’t know which one is her actual biological dad (I’m not sure how that works?).

  4. nktrygg said, on May 8, 2010 at 11:05 pm

    Since the majority of sexual abuse of children is adult males to teen or child females

    then if we as a society really want to protect the children, then we need to deal with the biggest offender group, not the smallest one.

    Protect the children is merely code for “anyone who disagrees with me is a child and I have to protect you from yourself by imposing my values on you” – it’s never about actual children.

    Nina
    http://ntrygg.wordpress.com

  5. mlhbenz said, on May 8, 2010 at 11:25 pm

    Last semester I took “Arguments and Debate 100” and for my final debate my partner and me argued for same-sex adoption and I still look at that experience as one of the most serious “reality checks” I ever had. For some reason in my head I really didn’t think we would have to much hard work ahead of us I just thought in my head that it was common sense that as long as someone has no history that would imply they would ever hurt a child in any way than they should be granted the right to adopt and raise children as long as they can adequately provide for and love the child, why their sexual orientation should even be a factor was not something I ever understood. While we did end up winning the debate, I was beyond shocked that it came down to one vote, meaning the class was split. While we won I found myself very disheartened that half my class really felt like gay adoption should be illegal. To this day I look back on that class as a reality check of what the queer community is really up against.

  6. nktrygg said, on May 9, 2010 at 2:33 pm

    mlhbenz

    that’s because we’re seen as gay first and people often not all at.

    if we can’t be trusted to make the correct life decisions like being straight and religious, then how can we be trusted to raise children correctly.

    after all, us gays won’t raise our kids to know that gay is bad.

    if they could, I’m sure a lot of people would like to prevent straight atheists from being able to raise children too.

  7. ahart1314 said, on May 9, 2010 at 5:59 pm

    Thanks for bringing up this crucial issue for LGBT individuals!

    When discussing/debating this issue with anyone, I always tend to bring up the point that studies show children raised by same-sex parents actually have higher self-esteem than children, teenagers, and young adults than children of heterosexual couples. Studies show that they also do just as well in school and actually have higher cognitive abilities than children from heterosexual couples. While I tend to think that the numbers of these studies may differ slightly depending on where the child grows up, I think these studies hold true across the board. For example, I would expect it to be easier for a child to grow up in a liberal, LGBT-friendly area like Takoma Park, than in a more conservative, traditional area of the state, such as Western Maryland. Children, parents, and the greater community at large may be more accepting and understanding of same-sex parenting in liberal, progressive areas than in traditional, rural areas.

    Additionally, while anti-same sex parenting advocates claim same-sex individuals are trying to “recruit” children to the LGBT lifestyle by having children or adopting children, this claim is deeply homophobic and false. Studies show that children raised by same-sex couples are no more likely to be LGBT-identified than children of heterosexual couples. This claim of “recruitment” simply has no grounding. There are many children in this country and around the world that need nurturing, loving, stable parents to adopt them. These children should not be refused and neither should the same-sex couples that want to adopt them.

  8. nktrygg said, on May 10, 2010 at 12:20 am

    The studies that I have read indicated that children raised by gay and by lesbian couples thrive the same as those raised by straight couples.

    The only difference is in lesbian couples – their children tend to have more empathy and tolerance towards others.

    I haven’t read all the studies – but certainly the ones that are done without an agenda show that gays and lesbians aren’t any worse than straight people on average.

    I really don’t get why the religious wrong can’t see that we are still people with the same wants and needs as anyone else.

    I admit to thinking that religious people are stupid, but they are still people.

    Basically it comes down to any kid raised by two or one parent who wants to be a parent, is going to be in a better position than a kid raised by one or two parents who didn’t want to be.

    Since gay and lesbian couples do not have unplanned children – all children of gay and lesbian households are wanted children.

    Nina
    http://ntrygg.wordpress.com/lesbian/

  9. […] I decided to write my final paper on gay parenting because it’s an issue that’s not discussed as much as other issues. We talked about gay marriage in class and even when a partner in a heterosexual marriage becomes gay but never really touched upon gay parenting. Causing me to look further into investigating and researching about gay parenting. Gay Parenting is definitely way more common than it used to be. more […]

  10. […] We Deserve a Family too!!!!! […]


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