I decided to write my final paper on gay parenting because it’s an issue that’s not discussed as much as other issues. We talked about gay marriage in class and even when a partner in a heterosexual marriage becomes gay but never really touched upon gay parenting. Causing me to look further into investigating and researching about gay parenting. Gay Parenting is definitely way more common than it used to be. However, gay people still struggle to live their lives they way they choose in a heteronormative society. The issue is that heterosexuals feel that its wrong for gay people to raise children and fear that gay people aren’t fit parents. Although research does not indicate much difference between homosexual and heterosexual in parenting styles and concerns, gay and lesbian families are always facing the question of viability.
Those who are against same-sex couples adoptions and second adoptions try to frame the debate as protecting children or say it’s because of family values. Those who against same-sex couple adoptions or having a baby claim that allowing same-sex couples to adopt allows them to “experiment on children”. However if you look down at the pictures below these couples and their children look happy. Most studies that have been conducted on children raised by gay parents have found that they turn out no better or worse than children from traditional families according to several factors including friendships, self-esteem, behavior, academic achievements, and family relationships.
Look at these couples in these pictures they are happy and their families are beautiful. This the perfect family portrait two people who love each other and the love they have shines through to their child. Why do you heterosexuals think there’s something wrong with this picture? Get it over because homosexuals are here to stay and are not going to change their life to make you feel better about yourself! According to the 2000 census, there were 163,879 households with children being raised by same-sex couples. That number is said to have climbed from between 1 and 9 million children.
So please keep your homophobia to yourself! Let gay people experience life just like everyone else because they deserve a family and the joy that comes with it too!
**I just want to say that this is a topic that I have been looking at since I was in high school and it is not in any means a way of saying that “oh, I was shocked when I heard these celebrities coming out.” My saying that so and so should have come out when he/she figured out his sexuality for a while and when rumors are already flying about their sexuality and that they are hypocrites comes from my lifelong motto of “saying true to yourself” and I feel that “faking it” to others is a violation of your self worth.**
So, the other night, I was at my computer (which is my lifeline: I know, what a clichéd phrase) and my mother walks really fast from the kitchen and tells me, “ Enrique Iglesias is gay!” We’re huge fans, can’t you tell? Then, she says “the people on the radio said that he didn’t come out before because his people said that it wouldn’t be good for his career” and I was like WHAT THE . . . . !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I am so sick and tired of hearing that sentence that he/she didn’t come out before because it would harm their career. We have heard about so many celebrities and their saying that. This issue has been pestering me quite a lot lately and hearing about Enrique was the last straw. I need to find out about the mindset behind this. This is ambiguous to me and it needs to be given more attention too. Hence, this blog is the “Look over Here!”
I don’t think this is just me. Remember the guy who did the “Leave Britney Alone!” (yeah, you remember!) video, well here he is again talking about the issue.
I’m not queer, hence my comprehension and knowledge about the LGBT concepts, issues, facts is only blooming, however shouldn’t people be true to themselves and embody their true sexuality when they figured out what it is. If they are proud and confident of their sexual orientation, shouldn’t they freely and openly talk about when they find out instead of waiting for several years to the point where people eventually just constantly gossips about your sexuality because they can sense it. If it is your career that’s stopping you from coming out, then maybe you shouldn’t be in an industry that blocks you from being yourself (sexual orientation is colossal aspect of one’s identity in my opinion). Also, people have gossiped for so long about their sexuality and “suspected” their queerness that when the celebrity announces their sexual orientation, it’s just stating the obvious at that point.
Let’s take a look in the mind of these celebrities. Let’s just get to the nitty gritty, these celebrities come out only when it will lead to success to their career. They have lived their main 15 minutes of fame, it’s been a while since they were on the front cover of the magazines (or even in a magazine), and it is the “perfect” opportunity to come out with their sexuality so that they can make a few fast bucks and be the center of attention for a while. Seriously? I mean these people are supposed to be our idols and they always say phrases, such as “be true to yourself.”
With people like Enrique, Ricky, and Lance Bass (I used to be all gaga over him when I was younger), I feel like “they just pull it (true sexual orientation) out of their back pockets” (as Chris Rocker says in the video above) at a time when their careers are at a stand-still (or their 15 minutes of fame is over or stalled) and all of a sudden getting public and media attention after the announcement as well as some fast bucks because of public appearances or publishing books, etc, isn’t that saying that you’re a hypocrite and that you are not true to yourself.
My mind constantly harkens back to the question, are they true to their sexuality? How in the world was it okay to be someone who they weren’t before they came out? For instance, Lance Bass would sing bubblegum pop songs about falling in love with girl for his love-crazed female fans and women would be all over him in the music videos. He let girls dream of him and fantasize over him thinking that he’s straight, as he portrayed to the media, and he wasn’t appalled by that since he wasn’t attracted to them? When he came out, he did mention that he was gay for many years and that his family and friends (including Britney Spears) knew about it. I rather die than pretend to be someone completely different while I’m another person inside.
According to http://www.people.com/people/archive/article/0,,20061532,00.html, “He took years to really think about how he was going to tell everyone,” says his close buddy Fatone, 29. He knew for years!! And all that time he faked it. I just don’t know . . .
For Enrique, ever since I was 8, I have had the most embarrassing crush on him and of course I still would be his number fan after his coming out, but if he was honest to himself and to us about his sexuality from the time he knew for sure, which must of been several years ago, then I would have the utmost respect for him and even though he is queer and I’m not, of course, I wouldn’t have any shame in being one of his biggest fans and still have the biggest crush on him.
How am I supposed to believe you when you have been lying to yourself, to you the most important person, for all these years?
Take Lady Gaga, she talks about queer issues in her music from the start and is somewhat open about her own sexuality because I notice that in more profession interviews such with Barbara Walters (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=16tRGakjiYY), she is more explicit about her sexuality, but vague and ambiguous when participating in more laid back formal interviews and takes time. Like one she took on Fuss (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oiYM-OzG6yw).
I appreciate the honestly about your sexuality from when you know it because it is a true expression of yourself and you should be able to present your sexuality proudly in public.
I feel like instead of gay people, we usually have non-queer and bisexual people aspects of discussing queerness through music, movies, and other forms of art spotlighted, or not, in the media rather than gay people (except for very few celebrities such as Adam Lambert, who I believe stated his sexual orientation basically from the start).
I may come off as monotone and leave no room for the element of surprise or mystery, but when it comes to something as imperative as sexuality (a predominant aspect of your identity because one’s sexuality represents leads to other aspects of identity.
At the end, I just need answers from these celebrities (would love to meet them someday not just for an autograph, but to be able to ask these questions and I expect a good answer). How could they live with themselves all this time? They had to lead their lives in obscurity until that stand-still in their career arrives and then that was the “only perfect time” to tell everybody. I need answers.
Am I exaggerating?
Does someone agree with me?
It’s about that time, kids, Registration time. Time to pick out your classes for next semester fall. While talking to one of my freshmen friends and recommending the Queer Race class for next year, I was surprised to find out the past controversy surrounding a “LGBT” class offered at the University of Michigan in 2000. The course (not offered at Maryland, THANK GOD) was an English class, called: How to be Gay: Male Homosexuality and Initiation.
The Course Description begins: “Just because you happen to be a gay man doesn’t mean that you don’t have to learn how to become one. Gay men do some of that learning on their own, but often we learn how to be gay from others, either because we look to them for instruction or because they simply tell us what they think we need to know, whether we ask for their advice or not….In particular, we will examine a number of cultural artifacts and activities that seem to play a prominent role in learning how to be gay: Hollywood movies, grand opera, Broadway musicals, and other works of classical and popular music, as well as camp, diva-worship, drag, muscle culture, taste, style, and political activism”.
Huh? Am I missing something? This course is laughable to me. Since when does college offer courses teaching students to become homosexual? I thought we were supposed to be academic and getting degrees here, not learning how to be the poster child for homosexuals around the world. “Learn how to be gay” “Homosexual INITIATION”? I guess University of Michigan should also offer some classes on how to be “black”, how to be a “woman”, how to be distinctly hetero perhaps? What do you guys think? Opinons?
According to other articles, the title and description were “misinterpreted”, saying that it doesn’t teach students how to be homosexual, but “examines critically the odd notion that there are right and wrong ways to be gay, that homosexuality is not just a sexual practice or desire but a set of specific tastes in music, movies, and other cultural forms — a notion which is shared by straight and gay people alike” (1). Hmm, I say, nice try. What were you thinking UM?
You can read (AND LAUGH) more about this course on the University of Michigan website. Click here: http://www.ns.umich.edu/index.html?BG/317descr